Love Yourself Too

Happy February!

This month has always been a weird one for me. We have Groundhog’s Day (which I’ve come to see is another Pagan-inspired holiday), Valentine’s Day, President’s Day, and also Black History Month. And I’m sure even more that I’m forgetting. That’s a lot for one month, let alone a month with only 28 days (not counting leap year).

Also, I have some beef with Valentine’s Day.

Growing up my parents gave me a basket with little toys and candy every year, and then I had the typical school stuff. And as I got older, I started to romanticize the day of romance and expect this to be the day that my crush of the week professed his feelings for me. That never happened. Eventually, I started dating my now-fiancé and while we’ve been in love ever since, I still never really got into Valentine’s Day. Until this year.

See, I was very much in the mindset that you should be romantic and love-y to your partner all year long, not just on one day because Hallmark said so. I’ve learned about the origins of the holiday and being in a loving relationship has me less anti-Valentine’s Day (I actually hand-made a gift for my love this year, I’m excited!). I do still think you should show and tell those around you that you love them all year long, but I also just feel like something is missing with the common ways to spend the day.

I feel like the type of love that needs to be celebrated the most, and also the least talked about, is self-love. And self-care.

Do you love yourself? That’s a pretty invasive question, but I’m not sorry for asking.

Do you show yourself the same love that you show your partner, your friends, your family? Do you let yourself rest when you need it? Do you motivate yourself to work on achieving your goals, even when it’s hard? Do you drink water, eat food that is good for you, and move your body?

Do you establish boundaries? Do you stand up for yourself and speak your truth? Do you also not give energy to the things that do nothing for your soul?

This may be a concept you’re not familiar with. You may not have been raised with the mindset that you are the most important person in your life – you can’t be there and serve others if you are not going through your life at your best.

Self-care has been a trendy subject lately, but I’m not seeing a lot of depth with the mainstream conversation. #selfcare is full of bubble baths and face masks, but self-care is so much more than that. Self-care is, quite simply, taking care of yourself. Supporting yourself, being there for yourself. It sometimes does look like a nice hot bath and pampering, and sometimes it looks like quitting a job that drains you. Sometimes it is going for a walk, or doing some moderate retail therapy for clothes, or having some tough-love conversations with yourself. It can look like dedicating a few hours on a Saturday morning to work on tasks when you’d rather be doing something else, but ultimately the productivity will make you feel good too.

Self-care looks like being honest with yourself and finding a balance between what you want and need. It’s ordering a salad because pizza doesn’t make you feel great, and it’s also having ice cream for dinner on nights where you’re hungry but don’t feel up to doing anything. It looks like distancing yourself from friendships that weigh you down and it also looks like holding space for people to be in your life who are going through journeys you may not even be aware of. It looks like cleaning your room some days and also looks like leaving the laundry for a week when you just can’t get to the place of caring.

Self-care looks like being your own best friend. Self-love looks being your own damn hype man. And if this relationship with yourself has been something you’ve been neglecting, let this Valentine’s Day be a reminder that you are deserving of love from yourself, too. ❤


I had a dream I was in my high school. A friend of mine, Jessica, was getting harassed and bullied because of an aspect about herself that she recently changed. It was getting to be so hard for her to be in the school building that I told her I would go back to her locker and get what she needed for her homework. I was writing down her assignments when I woke up.

I realized how unknowingly ignorant I was in high school. I was ignorant because I was sheltered, and frankly just didn’t know better. I didn’t have anyone to correct me in my mistakes because we were all kids and THEY didn’t know better.

But sitting here today, 24 years old, I realize just how damaging my ignorance may have been to those around me.

We only know as much as we learn, so if we don’t immerse ourselves in cultures different from our own – we never learn the errors (even the ones we didn’t intend to make) in our ways. This practice is typically more common with younger people because of toxicity and ego – “i made it this far without worrying about blahblahblah, I’m not about to start now”. But everyone could stand to lose

For the record, Jessica in my dream was a newly-transitioned trans woman.

Also, I feel like if people need a way to understand “why someone would want to do that”, I would liken it to this: let’s say your entire family is blond. You grow up being blond, but it’s just never really felt right to you. You get old enough to be exposed to more life and you see that people have different hair colors. You decide that as soon as you’re able to, you’re going to dye your hair brown.

Once you do, you finally feel like you are being true to your TRUE self.

Now this is obviously a stretch, but the principle of changing your physical body to match what your identity is on the inside is true. <Unless that was offensive to the trans community, then please let me know!>.

I woke up today feeling like I needed to share this. I’m literally writing this from my yoga mat before doing my morning yoga because this felt like something I needed to share. I needed to apologize to the trans people in my life that I was not initially supportive to and wasn’t the nicest to. Yes, in high school we’re all going through things. My social anxiety and my deep depression made interacting with people difficult, but as an adult I’ve learned to hold space for my own struggles while holding space and respecting someone else’s.

Also, for the record – I am a feminist. I am pro-choice. I believe all lives matter, so I am also a supporter of Black Lives Matter. I support the trans community. I support the LGBTQIA+ community. I support all minorities and communities of people. I also think society needs to place more of a priority on addressing mental health awareness and support, and not stress on gun control. (People are going to abuse laws and act erratically either way and can still get firearms illegally, but the restrictions only hurt the safe gunowners). I don’t believe political labels matter, and I don’t identify as a liberal. I also don’t identify as a conservative. But even if I did identify as either, it shouldn’t make you any less invested in the message of “Love, Support, and Respect All Human Beings”, which is what matters most to me.

Part of the need to share about my dream was also for me to share my beliefs, for anyone who was wondering. I’m not as active as I should be in any of these movements, as I’m trying to build the foundation of myself. These causes are important but something is calling me to focus inward during this pandemic, and I’m following my intuition.

So today, the first full day of autumn, remember to love, support, and respect all human beings. Reflect a little and see if you are holding onto any beliefs that aren’t actually yours.

General mental health

This Morning’s Musings

I’ve been in a funk, lately. I feel like I’m always saying that, which makes me feel worse.

Now I don’t know if I’ve been feeling more depressed, or if the depression is part of the spiritual awakening I may or not may not going through, I don’t know.

I just finished a book, “Gus” by Kim Holden. I’ve read the first book in the series a couple of times, “Bright Side”, and I finally managed to finish this one too. And dude, I fucking love the feeling after finishing a good book. The excitement and elation of the inspiration of finishing a story – especially a story like this. Overcoming grief and loss, finding yourself, and pursuing the hell out of your passions. I needed that.

Lately I’ve been feeling called for us to plan to get our own place, and move into an apartment. I miss having my own space away from the world. I miss being able to cook in the kitchen whenever I want, having only myself and my fiancé to worry about. I miss not having to share a bathroom with anyone else. And honestly? I miss the independence of being away from everyone else. I miss being able to be alone, truly alone. No other people in my space, not having to worry about who is doing what and where. I miss having a space that is my oasis from the world.

But, to play my own Devil’s Advocate, maybe my lower feelings currently are causing me to feel more antisocial so I feel more called to be away from everyone and everything.
Also, apartment living requires you to share walls with neighbors who could be loud or just generally annoying. And most units don’t have a washer/dryer in-unit. And carrying groceries up the stairs if you live on the second floor sucks. And we wouldn’t have the yard we have now and the garage…but I personally would be fine with that. I am willing to sacrifice the comfort of laundry and groceries for the general feeling of being at peace and being at home somewhere.

My fiancé is not on board, I don’t think. He’s not the most open with his emotions and his feelings, and he’s also stressed because he starts class in less than a week.

So I’m at a loss for what to do. Because I’m not happy with our current living situation…but I’m also not unhappy to the point of dreading being home. I feel indifferent/apathetic about living here. I also don’t feel the happiest inside about myself, which could be affecting my mindset too.


After our talk this morning that was mostly me building the case for why I want us to move into our own apartment in 6 months and him listening but not engaging and also not 100% agreeing – I decided to finish reading “Gus”. Because I wanted to escape. When I’m not on the phone for work, I was escaping into another world. And it was this excerpt that made me almost cry:

When I got to this point, I gasped out loud and read it again. And then I sent a picture of this to my fiancé and shared to my personal stories on social media. It felt like these words were written just for me to read.
How, specifically, this works into my life I’m not 100% sure yet. I immediately thought of my writing career, and the fact is that I can’t earn a living from writing if I don’t actually do the writing.

I also know that happiness comes from within, so if I’m not happy within myself I’ll never be happy no matter where I live. But I also think it’s a valid argument that staying somewhere out of convenience and ease is a shit choice. If I want to choose happy and live intentionally, and not just let myself fall into a routine of mediocrity, then I need to be intentional with my life. Which leads me back to wanting to move into our own place.

But, I can’t force someone into wanting something that they don’t. Just like I can’t force myself to be happy with something that I’m not. So I’m going to throw myself into work and read the next book in the series (“Franco”, Kim Holden) and see what happens. I’m going to trust in the universe and surrender to the fact that I know this living situation no longer serves me, and that I am ready for our next chapter. I’m going to get out of my head a little and try to give my mind a break from thinking, and just focus on being. ✌


The Future is Calling…

…can you hear it? I can. I’ve been ignoring its calls.


Saturday was not the best day in my head. I was feeling insecure in my body. I felt insecure about my relationship and was so concerned with people’s perceptions of me. I had a decent afternoon spent with my future mother-in-law and my fiancé, but it all came rushing back at night.

My fiancé is amazing, you guys. While we were playing Yahtzee with his mom and her boyfriend (who are also great), he let me be mopey and off. He gave me space, and allowed me to feel my feelings. When we got home, he held me by the shoulders and would not let me shower until I opened up to him.

I was honest. I told him that I felt insecure (“Gross and unhappy I said, while clutching my stomach rolls). I told him I was thinky about our future – where we’re moving, when we’re moving, him starting paramedic school, getting our finances in order. I told him I was stressed about laundry and grocery shopping. And he held space for all of that. And he kept asking me “What else?”. Finally, I bared my underbelly and told him what I was most thinky about.

I don’t feel fulfilled with my job.

Now, I’ve talked about my job before. I work in a call center. I answer phones, acting as a virtual receptionist for 100+ law firms across the country. I also have other responsibilities too, but that’s the gist of it. It’s a job. It pays my bills and I know the universe provided this opportunity as a way to provide for me financially. It has been a blessing to have been able to work this entire pandemic from home, and to be able to have health benefits and paid time off. It’s a good job…but it doesn’t inspire me. I don’t feel excited talking about it. I don’t dread going to work, which is great, but I also am not excited to go to work.
I work for eight hours a day, as most people do. I think it’s kind of a waste to spend 33% of my weekdays doing something I feel indifferently about.

And before someone is like “you have to make money to support yourself, blah blah blah”. I agree. I know I do. I know that I’m going to have to work, and that I can’t earn money by reading a book by the lake or by camping out under the stars eating ice cream. But – we only live this life once. Why has it always been to work in a 2-star-out-of-5 job to pay for bills? Why has that been what everyone has been told to achieve? Am I really that crazy for wanting to love what I do, and to do what I love?

Back to Saturday. I told my love that I don’t feel fulfilled with my job, and he brought me in close for a hug. Then he held my face in his hands and kissed me, saying “You were born for more than working in a call center.” and went on to say other super sweet things.

Keep this ⬆ in mind.

Yesterday, Sunday, our friend came over to go swimming. While my love and his brother went venturing up the creek farther than us, we waded near my favorite tree. We talked for an hour, at least, about our life. Our friend is actually my love’s co-worker, and her and I became friends through him.
We spent this time catching each other up on our past traumas. I opened up about my mental health struggles, my parent’s divorce, living with my mother before moving out, etc, and she opened up as well. It was a great bonding time. We also talked about our dreams and our hobbies. And it was during this conversation that she said “You’re smarter than working in a call center. You’re more than that. What do you actually want to do?”.

Y’all. I almost fucking cried.

Because I am a firm believer that if something is meant to be heard, it is said to you more than once. If the universe/God has a message for you, it will not go missed.


So what do I want to do?

I want to be a writer. I want to study psychology and hold space online/virtually for people to be open and vulnerable about their mental health. I want to become a counselor or some figure that can help people with their struggles. I want to study spirituality and philosophy and religions. I want to study astrology and dream interpretation and tarot. I want to have a platform that reaches an audience that holds space for people to come as they are. I want to offer services to people at a low-cost. I want to run a blog and write books and maybe even have a little farm with pigs and goats. I want to earn a steady income as a librarian, or at least working in a library.

And this is a great dream. And it is great to dream. But I can’t keep letting myself slip back into the depths of the abyss of my depression and letting the darkness overcome me because I’m too fucking scared to claim this dream and do something about it. I can’t stay where I know and expect these new things to come my way. “If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done”.

So, it’s about time I start doing something and working towards my future. And I can’t wait to see what I, that writer Jenna, accomplishes ✨



Catching Up

Hi there!

It’s been awhile since I’ve written here, and instead of allowing the duration in between posts to get longer and longer, I am going to tell you all what I’ve been thinking.

I have big plans for this blog. This blog will be the stepping stone for my writing career. But, I’ll be honest. I’m not much of a marketing person. Social media upkeep is not my forte. I am not very active in posting on my personal accounts, but I know that the only way to earn a strong presence online – the only way I can reach and connect with a lot of people – is if I post consistently. I probably won’t be able to keep a theme, in the beginning at least, but I will be able to at least get the content started.

So my plan (for right now) is to post two pieces a month (near the 1st and the 15th) on here. It’s some structure, which I need. If this is going to be my job at some point, or at least one aspect of it, then I need to treat it like a job. But it’s not so much structure that I get overwhelmed and my creativity is suffocated (which is what happened with my last blog, I think). I’m not sure yet of my plan for my instagram account, but I’ll figure that part out as I go.

One of my main priorities with this outlet is transparency and authenticity. And while this mainly would be for like what I write about, I think that this “back end” information is important to include too. Because I feel like if someone is only honest about some things, but not everything, that’s selective honesty. And I’ve always been an “oversharer”, so I’m going to embrace that and have that be apart of my presence here.


General mental health

Honesty Thursday

I’ve been debating writing on here for weeks. My inspiration has been lacking, I have been feeling irritated at a lot of things, and I’ve also been feeling low. I’ve been diving more into my spiritual practice, and I’ve been feeling very opinionated lately and discouraged that no one seems to see things my way.

So I stayed away from this. I stayed away from writing an angry post because I don’t want to be an angry person. And the thing is? I’m not. I’m not angry at all, actually. I just feel strongly in my beliefs, and something I’m currently dealing with is choosing response over reaction.


There’s a co-worker of mine who I disagree with on the way we should handle our job. She does things a way that I feel is wrong, and I feel anger bubbling inside me right now that management isn’t doing anything about it.

I have read in multiple books/sources that anger stems from fear, and I guess I’m scared of someone receiving the praise and acclamation I feel I deserve? Which also means that my pride is getting in my way. A scarcity mindset. Which means I’m actually feeling insecure and my ego is being a bitch.

In my own defense, there are some people that are just a pain to work with. They’re great out of the office, but you just don’t want to work with them. And that’s fine, it’s rare to like every single person you work with. But we all still need to be respectful to each other. And I can’t let my ego/pride get in the way of my response (which I did). So I’m also angry at myself for reacting in the way that a past version of me would. And as I reached out to a friend to make sure I was in the right…I realized that if I needed to make sure what I was doing was right to someone else, then it wasn’t right to me. A decision I know is right for me, I do not need input on. If I know something is right, nothing can sway my judgement.

I ALSO cannot control or really change anyone else. If I think someone is doing something wrong or incorrect, there is nothing I can do to change them. (I’m also not management, so it’s really not my job 😂). So now, I’m feeling embarrassed. I don’t take back what I said, because it’s the truth, but it’s also not up to me to put myself in the position I was in. I know I am great at my job. I know I am considered to be the #2 in the office behind management. And just because I sometimes need an ego boost doesn’t mean I should go after that by stooping to someone else’s level of passive aggression. It’s also not up to me to have an opinion on what I think management should do, because it doesn’t matter what I think. I am not management. I don’t get paid enough to care about what management should do. I get paid to do my job, which encompasses my responsibilities. And that’s it. So while initiative is great, I also can’t stress myself out about something that isn’t even mine to stress.


I have also been feeling “blah” lately. I haven’t been feeling super inspired, I haven’t been feeling fulfilled. I’ve been pulling myself away from the things that bring me joy in favor of the things that numb, which lowers my vibration and makes me feel shitty all around.

A good friend asked me the other day “how’s the website going” and I felt hurt by the fact that I was so ecstatic and inspired to pour my heart and soul into blog posts, to start to connect with people, and I just lost that.

But do you know why it hurt? It hurt because of why I lost the inspiration. I lost the inspiration because I started to think about what other people will think when they read my stuff. My dad knows about this site, ya’ll! I love him so much and I know he loves me too but it’s so much easier to bare your soul when no one is looking, ya know? But also, if I’m going to be a writer and live into my life’s purpose, then I’m going to have to lose the shyness a little and just do it.

I’ve also been feeling out of sorts due to hormones surrounding my period, which the feminist in me hates bringing up, but honestly- it’s relevant.

There’s also a New Moon tomorrow, which I’m going to spend the rest of my afternoon reading about and journaling about (in between work stuff).

Part of me also feels call to write about the witchy/spiritual/mystic stuff that I’m researching, and while I am a bit nervous for any “feedback” I may get from the people less than supportive of the subject, I also am getting to the point where I just don’t care. This is my site and I’m going to write about what I want, and honestly I am interested in earning a living as a writer so I suppose I should concern myself with whatever is #trending, but FUCK THAT. I’d rather write what I’m passionate about, when I’m inspired, than push out weekly bullshit that everyone can tell doesn’t speak to me.


Lastly, I have been feeling insecure about myself lately. I haven’t felt confident in my body, I haven’t felt worthy, and I started to feel myself slip back into old patterns of self-deprecating jokes and self-hatred. With a relationship with depression, this didn’t really come as a surprise to me. But this isn’t who I want to be. The Best Jenna does not fall prey to her depression because she knows she is worthy. She accepts her bad days as she accepts passing clouds in the sky, and does not berate herself for feeling human emotions.


So that’s where my head has been, lately. It hasn’t felt the most inspiring, but it’s what has been on my heart. And no matter what I decide to write about, I know my site and anything I create is definitely going to have a lot of heart.


Where? When? How?

Welcome back!

So far in my introduction posts, I have answered what this blog is, who I am, and my why. The other questions we all learned in English Class are the title of this post: Where, When and How.

Image result for who what where when how and sometimes why

The answers to these questions as it relates to this blog and my aspiring writing career are pretty straightforward, but I don’t like to leave things unfinished if I can help it.


Q: “Where would I like my writing to take me? Where can you find my writings?”

A: For now, my writing can be found right on this blog! I also have a Facebook page, Instagram, and Twitter with the same name.
For the future, I hope to grow to have a website for my business. I will write books in multiple genres: personal development, young adult, children’s, thriller, etc. I hope to study psychology and become a psychologist and work virtually (an aspiring BetterHelp/TalkSpace therapist). I hope to heal people with my words.


Q: “That all sounds great! When will that happen? Also, when can we expect content on this blog?”

A: Simply, I don’t know.
With my last blog, I tried to write something weekly, but the quality suffered the more time went on. I don’t think you can schedule inspiration. While discipline is necessary for success, at this point I’m mostly focused on quality.
I also don’t know when I’ll write my books. I have a solid six ideas, and right now I’m letting the plots marinate in my subconscious while I go through my day-to-day.
But in the meantime, I’ll be doing work on myself and sharing my story along the way!


Q: “How will you be writing? How do you know if these things will happen? HOW?”

A: As someone with anxiety, preparedness is something that I struggle with. My anxiety wants me to prepared for all things, and unfortunately that’s just unrealistic (almost like wearing the perfect outfit in the spring! You always need layers). So while I can answer that I do my blogging on a laptop or my phone, I cannot answer much else.


Sometimes I like to imagine I’m being interviewed. Is that weird? Probably. But I wanted to finish up the little “segment” of introductions. I hope you all are having a great day so far!



If you’re ever seen anything from the personal development world, “finding your why” is something you’re most likely already familiar with.

If you’re not, allow me to explain. Your “why” is your motivation, your inspiration, your passion – why you get up every morning, the thing that drives the passion in your soul.

It’s taken me a long time to find my why. I’ve shared a lot about my personal life in my previous blog My Soul Told Me To. To summarize, it’s taken me a long time to get back to my roots and find myself, to remember my dreams from when I was a kid and acknowledge that my 7-year-old self was smart enough to know my “why”, and it just got lost along the way.

I have always wanted to help people. Ever since I was young, helping people was the main drive behind any career ambition – writer, lawyer, nurse, and now we’re back to writer. I love the feeling of helping someone, but a little extrinsic motivation with good intentions never hurt anyone!

I also love to write (clearly). I have half a dozen ideas for books, and getting back into blogging is something that’s been keeping me up at night.

So my why: I want to help people through words, through my writing. I want to write books that help people heal. I want to be a resource for wellness and mental health. I want to eventually serve as a virtual therapist. I want to be the light for someone who feels surrounded by darkness.

This is my intention with this blog. As I’ve said, anything I post here won’t be necessarily revolving around what’s #trending, because there’s enough of that already. And it won’t be every week, because I want my posts and my writing to be authentic and not curated just to meet a weekly deadline. But I hope to help heal, help educate, and help in any way I can.


What's this?

Hello! I’m Jenna and I’m an aspiring writer. Thank you for stumbling upon my blog!

This is not the first blog I’ve had. I used to run My Soul Told Me To, but decided to take a break from that page. In my few month hiatus from MSTMT, I’ve been able to really narrow down my focus and find my passion.

Previously, I was inspired/distracted by the #bloggers who had millions of followers, blogged on a schedule, made a lot of money from ads…you know, that same story we’ve all heard time and time again. Aside from the fact that I was comparing myself to others (a No-No), I was missing one great big juicy piece of that secret life – the INSPIRATION. The PASSION. The fact that these woman I aspired to be like had worked for years to get to where they are now, and my half-assed blog posts about whatever was trending was not going to get me where I wanted to be.

So that brings me here. Finally embracing writing with my own name. Jenna. For years I had written as Bella Larsen, or just coyly didn’t write my name. A pseudonym was the best way to stay anonymous while still bearing my soul…but it also gave me an excuse to not bare down all the way. While I wanted my writing to show all of my vulnerability, I was still wearing underwear and a bra (if not more). To really grip readers, whether it be in a blog post or a novel, I need to get naked (not necessarily literally, per say). I need to be honest with myself, get comfortable in the discomfort, and then find a way to convey my soul to you through words that are raw and honest.

So that’s what this will be. I’m not going to post every week, because you cannot schedule inspiration. I’m not going to ask a question at the end of every post to try and boost comments, and I’m not going to do any of the things I was doing before. Because in 5, 10, 15 years, when I have gotten to where I want to be in my career, it will not be by doing what everyone else has done. It will be by being myself, that writer Jenna.


Who Are You?

Hi! Welcome back to my blog. 

Fun fact, I created a new email and all new social media accounts for thatwriterjenna on February 15th, and it just so happens that today I felt like kicking my butt in gear to start writing blog posts exactly one month to the day later! I’m super excited about this. 

So, as the great Absolem once said…

Who am I? I am Jenna!

I’m an aspiring writer and poet who currently lives near Easton, PA. I live with my boyfriend of almost 5 years and his brother (his brother bought a house, and we moved in to help him get acclimated into home-owning life and so we can have a cheap option to get back into living in the state we love). I work in a call center. The company as a whole is a referral service for people who are looking for attorneys, but I work in the department that acts as an answering service for law firms. We currently answer for over 100 law firms across the country! I also handle tracking the minute usage and reaching out if anyone goes over their plan. It’s not my passion, but it pays the bills and is not mentally draining. 

I am 24 years old and am a Pisces. I am a believer in spirituality: I wear crystals, I whisper to the trees when I go on hikes, I track the moon phases, I believe in astrology and tarot cards and witchy things, and I also believe in higher powers. I am a sucker for a good sunset/sunrise and I’ll probably take my time walking inside on a clear starry night, and I LOVE to stand outside on the porch and watch the sky during a thunderstorm. Being outside is one of my favorite things, and I’m making my way to being as eco-friendly as possible. I’ve been also making a change with my health – listening to my body with what foods make me feel good, moving my body, and loving my body in the process of getting to where I want to be. 

I love all music, specifically mid-2000s pop punk, softer country (like not ALL twang, but calm twang, if that makes sense), and I love listening to piano while I write. I love to read, and am currently in the middle of a few books. I like movies and TV shows as well, pretty much anything. 

I also live with anxiety, depression, trauma, and past eating disorders. Most of my posts are going to be wellness based, which I’ll explore in my “Why?” post later today. I’m so very excited to get to know anyone who follows me and likes what they read, and to hopefully impact at least one person!


That Writer Jenna