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25 Lessons Learned in 25 Years

Happy 25th Birthday to me!! 🎂

One of my good friends I call Mole-y (nickname originating from high school chemistry learning about moles) writes a list on Facebook every New Year’s Eve of what she’s learned the past year, and I LOVE that. So I wanted to do my own list of lessons, but lessons that I have learned in my 25 years of living.

I’m excited to be 25, in all honesty. I’m not upset about getting older. There was a decent amount of time where I didn’t think I’d make it to 20, so the fact that 1) I’m here and 2) I am officially in my “mid-20s” and old enough to rent a car is incredible. It’s definitely something I’m grateful for and proud of. And to celebrate this milestone, I wrote the following list.

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25 Lessons I’ve Learned in my 25 Years

1. Drinking water is not a punishment

2. Never underestimate the power of a good night’s sleep

3. When presented with the opportunity, never skip dessert if you want it.

4. Mental health is JUST. AS. IMPORTANT. as physical health. Never let anyone tell you differently.

5. Other people’s opinions (in the form of advice, suggestions, their everyday conversation, whatever) is not your business. It’s only a reflection of themselves and their perceptions. Listen to what resonates and leave the rest.

6. Books are the best friends you’ll ever have

7. Bandwagons are for suckers. Get to know your true self and hold on tight to what YOU actually like.

8. You will never please everyone, so you may as well just be respectful to everyone while you work to please yourself.

9. Love is real, and it’s important to be your best for your partner, but you need to be the most important person in your life.

10. Life’s too short to not have chocolate, but life’s also too short to not take care of yourself. Everything in moderation.

11. When it comes to someone’s way of life, there is no “wrong”. We are all byproducts of our parents procreation, no one asked to be here and no one has the answers. There is just “different”, but all human beings deserve respect.

12. PLEASE remember that the actual saying is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”, which actually means that you can’t choose who you’re related to but you can choose who you have around you. Those relationships matter the most.

13. Happiness is the most important thing in life. If something or someone does not make you happy, don’t leave the room for it in your life. You only get a handful of years on this earth living this life, so don’t waste them living your life for someone else’s benefit.

14. Pushing yourself past your comfort zone is important, but you need to be kind to yourself in the process.

15. Always choose to travel when you can.

16. Pride should never be in the driver’s seat of life.

17. Keep playing, well into your adult life. Never lose sight of the child in your heart, it’ll make life so much sweeter.

18. We all have things we need to work through and let go of, and there is absolutely no shame in utilizing therapy as a resource

19. Unlearning is just as important as learning.

20. Sometimes you need to give yourself closure.

21. Listen past a person’s anger and most likely you’ll hear fear.

22. No one cares about what you look like as much as you do, so wear what you want. If anyone has anything unpleasant to say about your body, remember that your confidence might be perceived by them as a threat… and that you look amazing.

23. Quality over quantity with everything. Seriously, with everything.

24. People treat you the way you allow them to. If you’re unhappy with the standards that you set that they’re now adhering to – rework your standards to match your worth.

25. No one human being on this planet is more important or valuable than anyone else. Regardless of race, ethnicity, religious/spiritual beliefs, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, physical ability, neurotypicality/neurodivergence- we are all human beings just trying our best to live out our soul’s mission in this life.

Extra for good luck 🕯: Treat everyone with kindness, including yourself. Learn the Love Languages of people in your life. Treat yourself with the same love and regard you treat your best friend. Befriend at least one spiritual person. Read The Four Agreements. Move your body in a way that also brings you happiness. Cultivate a morning routine so you give yourself time before you give your energy to anyone else. Nourish your body with good food. Healthy mind, healthy body; and vice versa. Spend as much time outside as possible. And most of all-  Choose happy ✌🏻😁

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Uncategorized

Welcoming Winter

Happy December!

This time of year can be hard for some people, especially for people who find themselves experiencing SADD. Seasonal Affective Depression Disorder affects a lot of people! Essentially, it is when people experience depression during the winter months. Part of this is caused by the decreased Vitamin D accompanying the lack of sunlight, and sometimes also the holidays are hard for people.

2020 has already been an intense year, to say the least. And if you are finding yourself feeling depressed (or more depressed than your usual amount) during this, you’re not alone.

So what can you do about it? Especially during this time of stay-at-home orders?

Give yourself a fucking break.

Seriously. Put off for tomorrow what does not need to get done today. Let yourself have an extra 30 minutes of laying in bed. Eat what you feel like having. We are literally living through a pandemic, y’all. Our normalcy is being rearranged – and depression (seasonal or not) has a metaphysical reason for demanding rest.

Something I’ve read about briefly is ayurvedic medicine. Within this medicine is the idea of your body being closely aligned with the sun, that our bodies naturally need less sleep in the summer and more in the winter. Our eating habits change seasonally as well.

This is not me saying “depression during the winter is natural, just deal with it”. BUT I am saying that one of the healthiest things we can do is listen to our body. Give yourself the grace and give yourself the space to do your best every day, no matter what that looks like.

Sometimes my best is waking up early and doing yoga and exercising before the sun rises. Other times it’s waking up at 9:30am and eating cookies for breakfast. Life is all about balance, and it’s important that we hold space for ourselves.

So what are some winter activities to do during this time?

❄ Drive around and look at Christmas lights

❄ Make hot chocolate at home and have a game night

❄ Sit in front of a fireplace (in real life or on YouTube) and cozy up under a bunch of blankets

❄ Watch Christmas movies

❄ See if there’s any local Christmas light “events” (In New Jersey, the PNC Bank Arts Center has a drive-thru Christmas light show and they charge a small entry fee per car)

❄ Read one of your favorite chapter books from when you were a kid. (The Inkheart trilogy is my go-to)

❄ Have a movie night (Harry Potter is my go-to!)

❄ Do your favorite winter activities safely!

Remember, you are entitled to your feelings. Right now does suck. But this stork will pass. It might pass like a fucking kidney stone, but this too shall pass.

Categories
Current Events mental health spirituality

New Moon Post: Planetary Happenings, Stepping into Myself, Doing the Hard Things (oh my!)

Happy Tuesday! Happy New Moon in Leo! This is also the second full day into Uranus Retrograde, so let me know if this is hitting y’all as hard as it’s hitting me 😅

In case you’re not into astrology stuff (moon energy, planetary alignments, etc.), I’ll briefly discuss what both of these things mean and link articles to read that explain it more eloquently. Also, just follow @truly.intuitive on Instagram! She’s the best.

New Moons are the beginning of the moon’s energy cycle. It’s typically when witches do their work for manifestation, among other things. New Moons signify beginnings, and there have also been studies to show that a majority of women menstruate around the new moon and ovulate around the full moon. So, new moons are pretty powerful. If you do any sort of Law of Attraction practice (writing letters, vision boards, etc.), I recommend paying attention to when the next New Moon is to help boost the manifesting.

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Most of us are aware of our sun signs. This is the answer we would give if anybody were to actually use the “So what’s your sign?” pick-up line on us. This is the “most popular” knowledge people have of their birth chart, but y’all there is actually so much more to know. It’s on my mental list of things to do to study astrology and eventually be able to read birth charts, but for now I’m still in the “collecting general knowledge” phase. We all have the planet Uranus in our chart, and typically, this planet is a symbol of progress, science, and disruption of the status quo. It’s the planet that is linked to surprises, innovation, revolution, and liberation. Uranus is demonstrative of all that is unique, wild, unpredictable, and unusual in our lives.

So what does this mean for this planet going in retrograde? It means our comfort zone will be tested. We are given a choice: change or die. (Die in the figurative sense). Without the influence of Uranus, many of us would nestle deep in our most familiar ruts and never look back. Uranus pushes us past the edge of our comfort.

Y’all, I am feeling all of this energy.

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Recently (like, Sunday night recently), I initiated a difficult conversation that I’ve been avoiding having with someone. And while we actually made progress, kinda, I was in my feels yesterday (as the kids say). I was feeling down, almost depressed. Very sad, insecure.

(Context: This wasn’t a bad conversation! No break-ups or any life changes, just a sensitive topic that is something not openly discussed. A lot of emotions were had).

And the reason I think that all of these feelings have to do with my spiritual awakening, is because I know that I need to go through this. So after yesterday morning of feeling super low, I was sitting outside cuddling with our pupper and had the thought that growth comes after change, and this season is all about shaking things up and teaches us what is really important.

It’s hard to determine if what I’m feeling is a “normal” part of growing, spiritually. It’s hard to tell if I cried for an hour that night because I was depressed af or if I’m understanding that everything in this world is grey – there is no black or white answer. I am right in my mind and you are right in your mind, so how can we say either of us is wrong? If my upset was because of the realization that I need to learn how prioritize my own needs while simultaneously prioritizing the needs of others. That’s a difficult balance, but it’s so important to have. If my upset was just overwhelm. Or if it was something else entirely, or a combination of all of the above.

And don’t get me wrong, crying is necessary. And I’m not ashamed of the fact that I cry easily. I have grown a lot and am proud of being able to feel my feelings. Holding space for my emotions is hard, honestly. It’s easier to numb or ignore, but at the end of the day, it is so beneficial to feel them and release them so you have more room for happiness.

However, I am ashamed of the fact that I feel shame surrounding my interests and the things that mean a lot to me. A good friend started following me on Instagram (@thatwriterjenna) and dude, I almost dry-heaved. My stomach dropped to my knees and I was about to stop doing this. And she’s a great friend, so it’s not like I don’t want her to see anything. I post this and am working on baring my soul to the interwebs because I want my words to be seen. But the more people in my life who comes across my writing, the more real it becomes. “It” being stepping up to the plate and actually pursuing my dream of being a writer. So yeah, I’m not ashamed that I love to write. I’m not ashamed of my spirituality. I know that writing and spirituality is not for everyone, and that while these things are a part of me, they do not define me. But I feel shame around the guilt I feel for being so…me. And if I’m honest, I guess part of me is a little (or a lot) ashamed of who/what “me” is.

Y’all how the fuck am I supposed to live my damn life and choose happiness if I’m ashamed of myself? How am I supposed to become the person I am in my dreams, my dream version of me, by playing small?

I’ve read in so many memoirs that once they fully stepped into themselves, they felt so much better and accomplished so much more than they ever thought possible. That’s a bit daunting to me, because I’m manifesting a pretty successful writing career. And like, I want that. But all of this work before hand – the unlearning and the healing and the shadow work and all that, is daunting. And it’d be easier to not deal with it.

But I’m already here! I’m already shedding the layers of the past versions of me. I feel like these layers are like a onesie pajama set and I’m standing here with the pajamas to my hips. I can’t just live life halfway out, and I can’t put myself back in. So, the only way out is through.

I need to push through the discomfort and grow into myself anyway. Do the thing even if I’m scared…if not because I’m scared. I am living this life once, so I need to stop waiting for xyz and just jump into the deep end.

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So how does the New Moon and Uranus Retrograde and hard talks and embracing being myself all tie together? Because it’s my life! It’s exactly what I’m going through right now. And being open about what’s going on as it’s going on, before I have any hindsight, is on the edge of my comfort zone. That’s what Uranus Retrograde is all about.
And I’ve had this feeling that’s been persistent for a few days now: that with the platform I’ll eventually build, I am meant to open the door for other people to have difficult conversations. Authenticity is one of the most important things to me, and I think part of my purpose is to show people how to find their truth.

But I have a lot of living and learning to do before I can get there. I can’t pour from an empty cup, and the teeny tiny drop I sometimes have in my cup I gotta save for myself. And all of these realizations are a part of the process.

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We are living through a pandemic. This isn’t exactly the part of the “Roaring 20’s” we wanted, but it’s the part that we got. Some days are going to feel great, and some days will not. It’s not about comparison of pain or comparison of success, of what Jane Doe is doing today and how Joe Shmo can get all that work done. Your best today will look different than your best tomorrow, and that’s okay.

Take some extra time to take care of yourself, there’s a lot going on energetically right now. I wish you peace and happiness. ✨