How many times have you been called weird or have been made fun of/teased?
I’ve been called weird a lot. I’ve also been teased a lot.
This used to bother me more when I was younger. As someone who just wanted to fit in, any time light was shined on a way I was different from the people around me, I changed that aspect. Girls weren’t interested in playing outside? I didn’t talk about it. No one wore South Pole? I stopped wearing it, even though it was my favorite brand. Throughout my childhood/young adolescence, I changed anything about myself that may have been seen as “weird” to those around me.
Sitting here now, I can look back with hindsight. I am an empath, so the emotions of those around me can be overwhelming (and they especially were when I was a kid). My love languages are Words of Affirmations and Acts of Service, so being made fun of or teased was something that really bothered me. Emotions and words are things that I’m sensitive to!
And now, I am weird. I am interested in “weird” things that the majority of people in my life are not interested in (or at least not as much as I am). Astrology, paganism, psychology, moon phases, the magick of nature, spirituality, plays and films, books, so much more. I am grateful to be at the point of not giving a FUCK because I’m learning I don’t need to change myself for anyone.
I am learning to embrace my weirdness.
I’m also grateful for my fiancé, who also embraces my weird. We goof off around with each other, we have conversations about things that aren’t super important but are on our minds, etc. And seeing him, someone who I admire, love me as I am and encourage me to be myself has jumpstarted my own journey to actually learning more about the things that interest me.
But the thing is, I didn’t need him to love me in order for my weird to “be okay”. I have always been okay – my weird has always been okay, I just was so preoccupied for so long to fit in.
And of course, the clichés we’re all familiar with come to mind – “If you feel you don’t fit in, you were born to stand out”. Maybe you’re not comfortable standing out. I’m not! I’d rather be behind-the-scenes of things. But whether I am cast or crew, in the spotlight or backstage – my true self and the things that make me different are still valid. I am still valid and worthy of existing exactly as I am without changing myself to fit the mold of someone else, or of what someone else may want for me.
If this sense of hiding yourself and not embracing your true self is never something that’s affected you – good for you, my dude! (not sarcasm) That’s incredible and I am so happy for you that you have always felt comfortable in your own skin.
But if you feel like you can only be your true self on your own or with a select few people, then I want you to know that I see you. Maybe you came across this and are in high school – and honestly that is the breeding ground for trying to fit in. After graduation, you most likely won’t keep in touch with many people and you’ll see just how much your environment affects your personality and your-wellbeing.
Whatever your situation is – let this be a reminder that you are allowed to be yourself.