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Current Events mental health spirituality

New Moon Post: Planetary Happenings, Stepping into Myself, Doing the Hard Things (oh my!)

Happy Tuesday! Happy New Moon in Leo! This is also the second full day into Uranus Retrograde, so let me know if this is hitting y’all as hard as it’s hitting me 😅

In case you’re not into astrology stuff (moon energy, planetary alignments, etc.), I’ll briefly discuss what both of these things mean and link articles to read that explain it more eloquently. Also, just follow @truly.intuitive on Instagram! She’s the best.

New Moons are the beginning of the moon’s energy cycle. It’s typically when witches do their work for manifestation, among other things. New Moons signify beginnings, and there have also been studies to show that a majority of women menstruate around the new moon and ovulate around the full moon. So, new moons are pretty powerful. If you do any sort of Law of Attraction practice (writing letters, vision boards, etc.), I recommend paying attention to when the next New Moon is to help boost the manifesting.

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Most of us are aware of our sun signs. This is the answer we would give if anybody were to actually use the “So what’s your sign?” pick-up line on us. This is the “most popular” knowledge people have of their birth chart, but y’all there is actually so much more to know. It’s on my mental list of things to do to study astrology and eventually be able to read birth charts, but for now I’m still in the “collecting general knowledge” phase. We all have the planet Uranus in our chart, and typically, this planet is a symbol of progress, science, and disruption of the status quo. It’s the planet that is linked to surprises, innovation, revolution, and liberation. Uranus is demonstrative of all that is unique, wild, unpredictable, and unusual in our lives.

So what does this mean for this planet going in retrograde? It means our comfort zone will be tested. We are given a choice: change or die. (Die in the figurative sense). Without the influence of Uranus, many of us would nestle deep in our most familiar ruts and never look back. Uranus pushes us past the edge of our comfort.

Y’all, I am feeling all of this energy.

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Recently (like, Sunday night recently), I initiated a difficult conversation that I’ve been avoiding having with someone. And while we actually made progress, kinda, I was in my feels yesterday (as the kids say). I was feeling down, almost depressed. Very sad, insecure.

(Context: This wasn’t a bad conversation! No break-ups or any life changes, just a sensitive topic that is something not openly discussed. A lot of emotions were had).

And the reason I think that all of these feelings have to do with my spiritual awakening, is because I know that I need to go through this. So after yesterday morning of feeling super low, I was sitting outside cuddling with our pupper and had the thought that growth comes after change, and this season is all about shaking things up and teaches us what is really important.

It’s hard to determine if what I’m feeling is a “normal” part of growing, spiritually. It’s hard to tell if I cried for an hour that night because I was depressed af or if I’m understanding that everything in this world is grey – there is no black or white answer. I am right in my mind and you are right in your mind, so how can we say either of us is wrong? If my upset was because of the realization that I need to learn how prioritize my own needs while simultaneously prioritizing the needs of others. That’s a difficult balance, but it’s so important to have. If my upset was just overwhelm. Or if it was something else entirely, or a combination of all of the above.

And don’t get me wrong, crying is necessary. And I’m not ashamed of the fact that I cry easily. I have grown a lot and am proud of being able to feel my feelings. Holding space for my emotions is hard, honestly. It’s easier to numb or ignore, but at the end of the day, it is so beneficial to feel them and release them so you have more room for happiness.

However, I am ashamed of the fact that I feel shame surrounding my interests and the things that mean a lot to me. A good friend started following me on Instagram (@thatwriterjenna) and dude, I almost dry-heaved. My stomach dropped to my knees and I was about to stop doing this. And she’s a great friend, so it’s not like I don’t want her to see anything. I post this and am working on baring my soul to the interwebs because I want my words to be seen. But the more people in my life who comes across my writing, the more real it becomes. “It” being stepping up to the plate and actually pursuing my dream of being a writer. So yeah, I’m not ashamed that I love to write. I’m not ashamed of my spirituality. I know that writing and spirituality is not for everyone, and that while these things are a part of me, they do not define me. But I feel shame around the guilt I feel for being so…me. And if I’m honest, I guess part of me is a little (or a lot) ashamed of who/what “me” is.

Y’all how the fuck am I supposed to live my damn life and choose happiness if I’m ashamed of myself? How am I supposed to become the person I am in my dreams, my dream version of me, by playing small?

I’ve read in so many memoirs that once they fully stepped into themselves, they felt so much better and accomplished so much more than they ever thought possible. That’s a bit daunting to me, because I’m manifesting a pretty successful writing career. And like, I want that. But all of this work before hand – the unlearning and the healing and the shadow work and all that, is daunting. And it’d be easier to not deal with it.

But I’m already here! I’m already shedding the layers of the past versions of me. I feel like these layers are like a onesie pajama set and I’m standing here with the pajamas to my hips. I can’t just live life halfway out, and I can’t put myself back in. So, the only way out is through.

I need to push through the discomfort and grow into myself anyway. Do the thing even if I’m scared…if not because I’m scared. I am living this life once, so I need to stop waiting for xyz and just jump into the deep end.

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So how does the New Moon and Uranus Retrograde and hard talks and embracing being myself all tie together? Because it’s my life! It’s exactly what I’m going through right now. And being open about what’s going on as it’s going on, before I have any hindsight, is on the edge of my comfort zone. That’s what Uranus Retrograde is all about.
And I’ve had this feeling that’s been persistent for a few days now: that with the platform I’ll eventually build, I am meant to open the door for other people to have difficult conversations. Authenticity is one of the most important things to me, and I think part of my purpose is to show people how to find their truth.

But I have a lot of living and learning to do before I can get there. I can’t pour from an empty cup, and the teeny tiny drop I sometimes have in my cup I gotta save for myself. And all of these realizations are a part of the process.

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We are living through a pandemic. This isn’t exactly the part of the “Roaring 20’s” we wanted, but it’s the part that we got. Some days are going to feel great, and some days will not. It’s not about comparison of pain or comparison of success, of what Jane Doe is doing today and how Joe Shmo can get all that work done. Your best today will look different than your best tomorrow, and that’s okay.

Take some extra time to take care of yourself, there’s a lot going on energetically right now. I wish you peace and happiness. ✨

Categories
spirituality

Hi, all. Happy Sunday!

This past New Moon peaked at 1:39 pm EDT on Friday, May 22nd. As with all new moons, during this energy is the best time to reflect, create manifestations, start new projects, etc. Typically, a New Moon’s energy can be felt the day before, the day of (obviously), and the day after. So just to be sure I didn’t miss it, I had my crystals charging since Thursday morning through Saturday night, and I used my moon water soap for my showers on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Yesterday I spent some time journaling about what my life looks like in 10 years. I chose 10 years specifically because I use Rachel Hollis’s Start Today Journal and I have been feeling like I need to revamp my 10 dreams. At first they had me on fire but then the more time went on, the more I’ve been embracing my spirituality and getting to my true roots, the less those dreams felt like mine. So I journaled a lot yesterday. And my life 10 years from now as I see it today is, I think, a modest, nice life.

I’m going to spare you all the details (because 1. that isn’t the full point of this post but 2. I want to keep most of it for myself), but essentially I am married to the love of my life, my boyfriend that I’m dating now. We live on 10+ acres in a nice 3 bed 2 bath house (not fancy or extravagant), in my head I see as a barn house/log cabin style. We have two healthy happy kids, a boy and a girl. And I work from home as a writer.

The reason I set the scene like this is because I had a thought weeks ago that has been on my mind ever since, and I want to get y’alls perspective.

So I want to be a writer, and I am a spiritual/mystical person. I have a half dozen or so book ideas as of right now, but I had the thought that the book that will be most successful first is the book that I’m living right now.

RIGHT?

So let me go through that a bit. The book ideas I have are in the YA, thriller, and personal development genres. The YA and personal development books are based on my life and the thriller book is an idea I had when I was little, so these ideas are near and dear to my heart and personal. But I have a feeling that the lessons I’m learning right now, the growth I am experiencing, is going to be the book that is the easiest to write and also the one that starts off my journey as a successful writer.

Once I sat with that thought, I honestly felt lighter. I have been feeling such a pressure to write (from myself). I feel like I cannot call myself a writer until I have written manuscripts, I cannot call myself a poet unless I am up until 4am every day writing poetry, etc.

The truth is…I write, so I’m a writer. I write (and sometimes think in) poetry, so I am a poet. In this day and age of labels for everything, sometimes it can be daunting to embrace a label for yourself. It can feel naive to call yourself something if you have a standard as to what that something should look like.

So why did I feel compelled to share this? Because only YOU know YOUR truth. All too often I see people open themselves up to validation from others or offer unsolicited advice to others. We need to understand, and remember, that people can only understand something from their own level of perception. So their “advice” may not fit what you were expecting, and that could cause discouragement. But keep the above in mind.

For example, a very good friend of mine is still in contact with her ex. I’m not a fan of this, I don’t like him for how he treated her when they were together, how he treated her during the break-up, or the few weeks after. Personally, I would have cut him off completely. But I also was not in their relationship. I don’t know him well, I met him once or twice and then through stories of when she would talk about it. But I was not there for all the good or all the bad. I have never been through a break-up in general, much less one after being with the person for 2-3 years. So how can I give her advice? I can’t, and shouldn’t. (I did multiple times, and eventually realized that I was telling her what I would do if I were her. She never asked for advice or what my opinion was, so who the fuck am I to offer it?).

Let’s try to think of advice as dick pics. No one wants it if they don’t ask – it can be hurtful, off-putting, and completely change your perception as the recipient of the thing if you didn’t ask. And if it is asked for, then it should be handled tastefully and only within the bounds of the recipient’s consent.

Maybe that’s a stretch of a comparison, but honestly I think it holds true.

So with this in mind…the majority of the people that you meet, will continue to offer advice and their opinions even when you didn’t ask for it. And these comments will be from their level of perception, which is crafted based on their own experiences. So if Aunt Sally thinks you need to go to college to be successful and then you talk about a brand ambassador deal you were offered, Aunt Sally is going to say some hurtful things to discourage you. Aunt Sally does not mean to be nasty, but her perception of what she would do if she were you, is she would go to school to study medicine. And maybe Aunt Sally has been through some shit, and she never got to pursue her dreams of becoming a veterinarian, so to hear her 20-year-old niece “throwing her life away” is going to set her off. And while having this context does not excuse Aunt Sally, it does shed some light on her actions. You cannot change Aunt Sally or control what she says to you, and you probably aren’t able to tell her straight up “I don’t care what you think” because it’s going to start shit with your mother and grandma and the whole gang, BUT you can tell her “I respect your opinion but I still feel like this is right for me.” and then walk away. And you have the control to not hold on to whatever she says to you.

(Note: I don’t have an Aunt Sally. I was never offered a brand ambassador deal. This is just an example. However, I do have a friend who talks to her ex who I gave unsolicited advice to, so I do have an idea of what I’m talking about here).

To conclude: deep down in your gut, past the recycled expectations of others and your worries and fears and “junk” – you know what you want for your life. You know what is best for you. Take what other people say with a grain of salt, and trust yourself.

Also, consider that maybe the season you’ve living right now will make way to something amazing in the future. I have always felt that the good in life outweighs the bad, so if that doesn’t feel right for you right now, then the good stuff is still on it’s way. ☯

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